Today, I remembered..

Today, I was explicitly reminded of why we, as Christians, are called to place our sense of self in Him, and not in who others say we are. When I was working, a coworker of mine felt the need to tell me that if someone didn’t know me very well, they would think I was a b**&(, and then my other coworker agreed. Feeling a little hurt, I went to my boyfriend, who let me know that sometimes I try to be funny and do come off as just that.

So of course, that didn’t exactly make me feel any better.

But then, I began to try and determine where these feelings about me stemmed from. Was I hateful to these people without realizing it? Have I said hurtful things to them, thoughtlessly letting my words run from my mouth without proper filtration?

I realized that it doesn’t matter how I offended them, the fact that I did is enough to catch my eye. I need to be careful of how I carry and conduct myself around others, because I am not only representing myself, my company (when at work), and my family, I am representing my faith. If I thoughtlessly tear people down when I think they have made a mistake, or if I am overly critical of another’s work, and do not carry myself in the grace that I have been given, then I am not loving them freely.

The entire point of this blog has always been to remind myself to give the love I have received away freely. This means not only in words, but in actions as well. I want to be known as someone who loves freely in every aspect of my life – from how I conduct myself at work, at home, and in public. This means that I need to filter every word that comes out of my mouth, because, as it says in Proverbs 4:23-24:

“Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life. Put away from you a deceitful mouth And put devious speech far from you.”

This is again stated in Proverbs 18:21, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.”

I do not want to be controlled by my emotions, to the point where I am also controlled by my tongue. I want to be in constant control of my emotions, my tongue, and where my eyes are fixed. I choose to be diligently following Christ, and sharing His love, both in actions, and with my words.

I am defined by my relationship with Jesus. Not by the words that others give me. I am not to react to these judgments, and I am to search my life to see how I can use that experience in a way that will help me learn to love those people better, and more freely. I choose to be defined by that constant struggle to be like Him.

When was a time that you remembered who you are supposed to be keeping your eyes on Jesus?

Everyday I’m stru-struggalin

This past couple weeks have been extremely difficult for me. I’m struggling with a lot of things in my personal and spiritual life, and I’m grappling with a lot of my personal insecurities and I’m learning just how much they impact my relationships with others and how I love other people.

Because of many incidents and problems that I’ve faced in my past life, I have a really hard time trusting people. This isn’t one of those “oh I don’t trust people, but let me tell you about my life” type things, this is a struggle that when someone isn’t in front of me, I have a hard time believing that they are still the same person around other people. I struggle with believing that they love me, that they aren’t just sitting around talking about how awful I am, or how depressed I am, or how annoying I am, etc.

This past week especially, I’ve noticed just how much that interferes and limits how easily and freely I can love people. My social anxiety, my insecurities, my struggles, they all reflect into my relationships with my friends, my boyfriend, my family, and even strangers. I don’t have the courage to be completely open and myself around people that I don’t know very well. Instead, I close myself off, become extremely quiet, and observe everyone else engaging each other. But yet I still get my feelings hurt that no one pursues me to get to know me, or that no one makes an effort to include me. It’s taken a lot of thinking, a lot of self and soul searching to realize that this is something that the devil has planted in my heart.

These insecurities draw me from the grace and the love I feel in Christ, because it makes me focus on all of the ugly and horrible parts of myself, when in reality, those things have not only been forgiven, but they have been covered in Christ’s blood and no longer even apply to who I am in Christ. That’s the important part though. In Christ. Without Christ, not only am I unworthy but I am nothing. But in Christ,

I am loved. John 3:16, Ephesians 2:4-5, Romans 5:8
I am accepted.Ezekiel 20:40-41, Romans 11:1, John 6:37
I am forgiven. 1 John 1:9, Isaiah 43:25-26, 2 Corinthians 5:17
I am protected. Nahum 1:7, 2 Corinthians 4:8-9, Deuteronomy 10:17-19
I am filled with the breath of God. John 20:21-22, Job 33:4, Job 32:8
I am a sister to Christ himself. Matthew 12:48-50, Philemon 1:6, Galatians 4:5-7

This next week, I’m choosing to focus on my identity in Christ instead of the world. Will you join me?

from the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. Psalm 61:2

Sometimes, you have to force it.

There are days that you will have no motivation.

There are days that you will have no desire to move forward, or to even attempt to make forward progress.

Press on anyway. 

Move forward anyway. 

Pray anyway.

God knows your heart. He doesn’t expect it to always be in the greatest shape and ready to overcome the world. But what he wants is to have your heart committed to His purpose and His kingdom, even on the days that it is tired, hurting, and burdened by all that is wrong, dark, and broken about this world.

On those days, it is best to remember a few things:

1. God’s love for you is not in any way earned, deserved, or taken. It is freely given, because He not only is love, but because His grace is free.

Verses to refer to:

1 John 4:8 – “Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” 

Ephesians 1:6 – “to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.”

Romans 3:24 – “and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.”

2. God’s grace is not only freely given, but it is more than sufficient to make up for your flaws, your downfalls, and your mistakes – and even your lack of motivation.

Verses to refer to:

2 Corinthians 12:9 – “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 

Ephesians 4:7 – “But to each one of us grace was given according to the measure of Christ’s gift.”

3. Jesus died for you, for your sins, for your darkness, and for your mistakes. He didn’t die so that you could remember his death and be perfect. He died to save you from your darkness, and to save you from everything bad in the world. He knew you before your parents were even born, and knew exactly what flaws, what darkness, and what sins you would have. He knew all of that about you, and he still chose to die for you. What kind of love is that?

Verses to refer to:

Romans 6:14-“For sin shall not be master over you, for you are not under law but under grace.”

1 Peter 3:18 – “For Christ also hath once suffered for sins, the just for the unjust, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh, but quickened by the Spirit.”

John 11:25 – “Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live.”

What an amazing privilege it is to live in a world that has a Creator that is so intricately linked to our existence. Not only did he create us, but he is FOR us, and He will not forsake us. On the hard days, on the tired days, on the days that our hearts are weary and torn, it is best to remember that. Maybe then, we can begin to pull and draw our energy from the One Who First Created energy.

 

 

Sometimes, life is rough.

Looking back at this past year, I can honestly say it’s been a rough one. In January, I lost my grandfather to lung cancer. In March my other grandfather had a stroke and was in a coma for almost a week. In April, my grandmother had a heart attack with a 99% blockage in her heart, and was in the hospital for about a week.

Needless to say, it’s been a rough year.

But, at the same time, I’ve also learned a lot not only about myself, but about how God works in mine (and sometimes, other people’s) lives. Some of the things I’ve learned have been small, like how to distinguish what I want from what I really need. But I’ve learned bigger things,like how to look for God’s touch in things that seem trivial. (I’m still learning this, but I’ve realized it most right now).

I’m glad to say that I truly believe in my life verse, Joshua 1:9, which says, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” God has commanded me (and us as the body of Christ and his church) to be not only strong, but courageous! We can be strong knowing that He is always with us, and relax in the fact that he is for us, not against us. 

I’ve also truly begun to understand that sometimes God takes people away from us, not because He is mean, or hateful, or vindictive, or even just because he thinks it will be good for us. God takes some people away when he does, because for his glory to be self-evident, he needs to prove to us that we really only need to rely on Him and not on other people. Our salvation comes from God alone, through believing in Jesus. People can’t save us. People can comfort us, can be a blessing to us, can be a lesson for us, but they cannot save us. (See John 14:6).

When we get in his word and let his promises and his words permeate into our very existence, and into our lives in every aspect, that is when we truly begin to understand not only being in his presence, but learning to continually be in his presence (or continually praying). I learned last year that praying doesn’t have to be words to God, or even explanations or excuses, or even questions begging him for his grace from our sins, but true prayer is just being in his presence. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 tells us to: “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” That is God’s will for us! To be constantly in his presence and appreciating just how much he loves us, and letting him overflow his love through us to others. That is the true reason for Jesus’ birth. That is the true reason for the season. I’m very appreciative of that fact this year. I’m hoping this next year, in 2015, I can learn even more and appreciate how much God loves us, and truly rest in that embrace.

Happy New Year’s Eve!

Happy New Year’s Eve, lovelies!

 

I wish you all the absolute best new year and the most restful holiday. Enjoy your junk food, binge out on your chocolate, and get ready to conquer the new year and share the light that God so graciously lit within you!

In case you don’t hear this enough, I am so proud of you. You have made it through struggles, through heartbreak, through laughter, and through tears this year, and you came out on top. You trusted God enough to continue to walk on this earth, even if you didn’t really want to on some days. Remember that you are His, and that He has called you here and put you here with a purpose! Do not let anyone tell you or convince you anything different.

 

Rest in these words for today, and start out the new year thankful and sanctified in His grace!

Isaiah 42:6

“I am the LORD; I have called you in righteousness; I will take you by the hand and keep you; I will give you as a covenant for the people, a light for the nations”

Jeremiah 29:11

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

The Devil Wears Prada. But really.

So, I’ve been thinking lately about the phrase:“The devil doesn’t come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns, he comes as everything you’ve ever wished for.”  And how it can be interpreted and applied.

In my life, I’ve noticed that most of the time, the devil uses my own laziness and tiredness against me, in order to undermine my relationship with God. Merriam Webster defines sloth as a :  disinclination to action or labor,  b :  spiritual apathy and inactivity. I think this is my biggest struggle in the “seven deadly sins” category. And boy, can I tell you why this is considered a deadly sin. 

As a full time student, a full time worker, a girlfriend, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a granddaughter, and all of the many other hats that I put on on a daily basis, I sometimes get overwhelmed. Due to my own introverted nature (and clinical depression), I have a really difficult time managing my own energy level with all of the responsibilities and needs of those around me, and the own stress that comes from my work and school. There are days I don’t feel like even getting out of bed. My biggest struggle is motivating myself to continue to love people even when I’m exhausted, and when I don’t feel like I have enough energy to do the things I need to do, not mention give more energy away in order to freely love those around me who need it. But, in the past few weeks, I have noticed a huge difference in my energy level when I start my day off with a quiet time with Jesus.

Call it a placebo effect, call it whatever you want. But I truly believe that when I begin my day by getting into the love of Jesus, and taking energy from him, I don’t have to be worried about how I’m going to feel after work, or if I’ll have enough energy to love my sister when she vents about all the horrible girls at her school. I also have so much less insecurity, fear, and worry about how others view me, probably because I am already grounded and secure in the love of the One who gave it all for me.

In the Bible, we are repeatedly told that Satan is a liar, and the king of deception. We are told to “stand our guard” against the devil, because he is constantly looking for someone to tear down, or some new way to pull us from God. For example:

1 Peter 5:8

“Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. “

2 Corinthians 11:14

“And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light.”

2 Corinthians 4:4

“In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.”

In my life, 2 Corinthians 11:14 is the most accurate and applicable. Satan comes to me, disguised as “self-care” or “self-help,” whispering in my mind words that not only drain my energy, but encourage my lethargy. But when I listen to what Jesus has to say, instead of that slick-tongued serpent, I realize that I don’t have to worry about being alone, or having enough energy to work in the kingdom. All I have to do is be present. Jesus will do the rest. His energy is enough for me. His love is enough to not only fill up the tired, broken, and disinterested parts of my heart, but to overflow my heart enough to teach me to give away my love, my energy, and my heart freely; even though it will sometimes get rejected, or will get hurt in the process.

Only by giving Jesus my complete heart will I have enough love to love those around me freely. 

Only by giving Jesus my complete heart can I ignore the devil’s sly comments and encouragements to sleep instead of becoming a part of God’s hands and feet. 

Only by giving Jesus my complete heart can I have enough energy to bravely face every day, even on the days that I am broken hearted, tired, or just discouraged. 

My goal for this week is to truly feel and abide in David’s words in Psalm 23:5 “My cup runneth over.”

I can choose to be energized by the Holy Spirit and abide in Jesus’ overpowering and energizing love. I will not let the devil use “sloth” against me, or convince me that I am too tired to give my attention and my heart to God for even a small moment.

I encourage you to fight against the ways that the devil pulls you away and cleverly disguises himself in your life! Watch closely, friends, for he is constantly on the prowl. Put on your armor every day, and be ready to fight the good fight.

Today I’m Remembering

Today, I’d like to remember that human love isn’t perfect. The only perfect love comes from the One who IS and created love.

1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

Because God is love, and is the only version of perfect love there is. And thankfully, because He says in Romans 8:28-31:
“For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren; and these whom He predestined, He also called; and these whom He called, He also justified; and these whom He justified, He also glorified. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us?”

As this says, if God is for us, who can be against us? His perfect love, identified and personified by the death of his Son, should cast out all fears that we may have. All those insecurities, doubts, hurts, and screw ups don’t touch us. Live strongly in this hope, and love freely out of the knowledge that the One Who IS Love loves you, has predestined you for his kingdom, and casts all fear away out of his love for us.

What an AMAZING privilege this is for us. Why wouldn’t we share it?

What I’m Remembering today

Romans 5:8-9

…but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners , Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved from the wrath of God.

God loves us, not because of anything we can do or anything we have done, but simply because he sees us through Christ . Therefore, I don’t need to worry about being good enough , I simply need to rest in the love Christ had for me, and accept his place in his family that he created when he chose to die on the cross for me.

What a relief!