Sometimes, I like to look back and appreciate how I got to this point in my life, and many times it makes me realize just how different my life would be if I didn’t have God’s love and promises spoken over it. There have been plenty of times that I could have made a different decision, and changed my life completely. It never ceases to amaze me that our entire lives are made up of tiny decisions that lead us to where we are currently.

I also never ceases to amaze me that God has known from the beginning just how everything would turn out. Trying to understand God’s relationship with time is a complicated, complex, beast of a question. It’s sometimes best to just leave it at the fact that He is outside of it. I never thought in a million years that I would be where I am now, but I also don’t think that I would change anything even if I could.

I’ve made some poor decisions. But they’ve all lead me to where I am today, which I believe is right where I need to be. I have an awesome husband, am in a fantastic accelerated BSN program, in a wonderful fun-filled city, and am learning every day new things about myself, my relationship with others, and Jesus.

Last night, I went to church with a friend for the first time. It’s been a really long time since I’ve gotten to go to church because of work or school, and I got chills just from walking in. The sermon was on surrendering our lives back to Christ, with every aspect layed at his feet as an offering, and to truly let him Lord over our lives. I’ve been struggilng with this, and quite honestly I’m exhausted. Life isn’t easy. But trying to control my life is even more exhausting. It’s too much, and I know I’m not meant to do it.

So my goal for the next week is to consistently turn over my life to Christ. Again and again, just as his mercies are new every morning, I will give him the things that I have tried for so long to control and manipulate myself. Hopefully it will get easier as I go along.


Encouragement for this challenge: 

Romans 12:1-2

I appeal to you therefore, brothers,by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.Do not be conformed to this world,but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

Galations 2:20

I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.”

Matthew 16:24-25

“Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. “For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.””

Isaiah 64:8

“But now, O LORD, You are our Father, We are the clay, and You our potter; And all of us are the work of Your hand.”

Lamentations 3:19-33

Remember my affliction and my wanderings,

    the wormwood and the gall!


My soul continually remembers it

    and is bowed down within me.


But this I call to mind,

    and therefore I have hope:


The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;

    his mercies never come to an end;


they are new every morning;

    great is your faithfulness.


“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,

    “therefore I will hope in him.”


The Lord is good to those who wait for him,

    to the soul who seeks him.


It is good that one should wait quietly

    for the salvation of the Lord.


It is good for a man that he bear

    the yoke in his youth.


Let him sit alone in silence

    when it is laid on him;


let him put his mouth in the dust—

    there may yet be hope;


let him give his cheek to the one who strikes,

    and let him be filled with insults.


For the Lord will not

    cast off forever,


but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion

    according to the abundance of his steadfast love;


for he does not afflict from his heart

    or grieve the children of men.

PS – I LOVE this Lamentations part. I’m planning on memorizing it this week.

Love you guys. Stay strong!